Alone At Sea
by SU Fanatic7152
Summary: Just my interpretation of the upcoming episode: Alone At Sea.
1. I'm Alone

It was dark. It was quiet. It was…wet?

I felt like I was engulfed in water. Was I still fused? Were the events on that island just some kind of vision?

I reached down and felt my ankles and wrists. No cuffs. I wasn't in chains. I couldn't be fused.

I slowly opened my eyes. It looked like I was in some deep trench. For a minute I forgot where I was and who I was.

I tried to move, but I couldn't. My whole physical form felt like it was about to come apart. Something defiantly wasn't right.

I slowly placed two of my fingers on my gem. I nearly screamed. There was a crack! My gem was cracked!

I tried to move again, but I felt pain shoot all through my body. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't do anything. I was broken. I was weak. I was nothing.

I very slowly sat up. I could see more clearly where I was. It looked like I was at the bottom of the ocean.

Then I realized something. I had utterly failed. I had broken Homeworld law. There's no going back from that. I was a refugee to both sides.

I couldn't go back to Homeworld. Yellow a Diamond would never forgive me. I was trapped. No matter where I would go after that, I would never be free. I would always be running from both sides.

I was so pathetic. I failed what should have been a simple mission. All I had to do was escort the Peridot. I could survive a thousand year war, but I couldn't escort a Peridot.

Those Crystal Clods have probably already shattered her. No telling what they did to that Lazuli. Maybe they turned their backs on her. I wouldn't be surprised if they did. All they ever do is betray all gems.

If I ever saw that Lazuli again, I would shatter her gem on the spot. That Garnet, I'd like to separate her once and for all. And that stupid Rose Quartz! She still relied on all other gems doing her dirty work for her. She couldn't face anything on her own. She just pretended to be weak. She might have even been trying to pass herself off as a human.

There just wasn't a point anymore. There just wasn't a point.

There was no reason for me to go on. I thought I could just stay there until I was shattered.

I stayed down there for days. I was isolated from everyone and everything. I had nothing left. I was…I was just…alone. I was alone at sea.


	2. A Guilty Past

(Lapis P.O.V.)

I am Lapis Lazuli, and right now I feel awful.

Peridot's been trying all day to make me smile, but nothing has worked. I'll give her credit. She can be funny and probably cheer just about anyone up. Just not me. At least, not right now.

I feel so guilty right now, and I don't think anything could make me feel better. Everyone might think I did something honorable, but I've never been honorable to anyone or anything in my life.

I betrayed Homeworld. I hurt the Earth. I withheld information from the Diamonds. I created a monster. I lied to Steven about my past. I'm just an awful gem with no honor that doesn't belong to either side.

The real reason I feel awful, though, is that I had imprisoned a gem who had spared my life behind the Diamonds' backs.

"Anything to report?" Yellow Diamond asked looking straight into the hologram screen.

"Yes, my Diamond," Jasper responded slowly nodding her head. "Peridot seems to have been right. We have found a group of rebels still alive on the planet."

"Yes, sure, great. But what about the mission?" Yellow Diamond responded.

"The mission…" Jasper paused. "Did you hear me? There are rebels active on this planet."

"Yeah, sure, good for you. But what is the status of the Cluster?" Yellow Diamond said not sounding like she cared in the least.

"But my Diamond, Rose Quartz has officially been filed as alive," Jasper said.

"Sure. Sure. Whatever. The Cluster? What has the informant said?" Yellow Diamond asked.

"Apparently, the Lazuli has withheld information from us," Jasper said.

"What?!" Yellow Diamond exclaimed.

"She apparently knew about Rose Quartz still being alive and taking on a weaker form," Jasper explained.

"Oh, whatever!" Yellow Diamond yelled. "Just check on the Cluster's progress. And as for the Lazuli…"

"Yes?" Jasper asked.

"Shatter her," Yellow Diamond said.

"P-p-pardon?" Jasper stuttered.

"She has withheld information so shatter her," Yellow Diamond said.

"My Diamond, don't you think that's a bit of a strong offense?" Jasper asked.

"Not at all," Yellow Diamond said.

"With all do respect. I was not trained to shatter poor, defenseless gems," Jasper said.

"But you were trained to follow orders," Yellow Diamond said raising her voice. "Now go shatter the Lazuli!"

"Yes, my Diamond," Jasper said hanging her head in shame. With that said, the hologram vanished.

Jasper walked out of her room and down the hall. She ran right into Peridot.

"Oh, Jasper. Good timing," Peridot said pulling out Lapis Lazuli's gem. "It was quite a struggle, but I was finally able to poof the Lazuli. Now you can shatter her, no problem." Peridot put the gem in Jasper's hand, turned around, and left.

"Okay. Okay then," Jasper said raising her fist above the gem. She hesitated. "Just got to smash the gem." She still hesitated. Every time she started to fire her fist at the gem, she would stop only a couple inches from the gem.

"Come on, Jasper," Jasper said to herself. "This should be simple. Just smash the gem and move on."

More time passed by, and Jasper still hadn't shattered Lazuli. "Who am I kidding?" Jasper asked herself.

Jasper sighed and tightened her grip on the gem. She walked down a few halls and carefully placed Lapis Lazuli's gem in a cell.

Jasper turned around and started to leave. She suddenly stopped in her tracks and turned her head to look back at the gem sitting in the cell. "You're lucky that I'm sparing you," Jasper said. "Not all gems will be so generous." Jasper turned her head and continued down the hall.

Those events kept playing over and over again in my head. Jasper had gone against Yellow Diamond's wishes and spared me. And how did I repay her? I trapped her at the bottom of the ocean in a fusion.

I was sitting on top of the silo again. I usually go there whenever I need to think. I slowly breathed in the sweet, crisp air of the country.

"Lazuli! Hey! Lazuli!" I suddenly heard a voice call out. I didn't have to look down to know who it was.

I sprouted my water wings and flew down to the ground. "Yes, Peri?" I asked once I landed.

"Wow! Are you okay?" Peridot asked. "You look like a mess right now."

"What do you mean?" I innocently asked. I knew she wasn't gonna buy it.

"Your hair's going crazy. Your dress is all tattered. And you have bags under your eyes," Peridot said. "Come with me." Peridot grabbed my hand and made me follow her into the barn.

Peridot sat me down in a heap of hey. She sat right behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders. "Now, Lazuli," Peridot said. "I want you to relax. Close your eyes and take deep breaths." I did as I was told.

"Just relax," Peridot said. "You're under too much stress. You have to lighten up."

Peridot summoned a hair brush from her gem and started to brush through my tangly mess of locks. It didn't hurt. Peridot was able to do it to where she could get the knots out but not pull any of my hair out.

When Peridot was done brushing my hair, she placed her hands back on my shoulders and lightly squeezed.

"Feel better?" Peridot asked. I felt relaxed and refreshed, but I still had a horrible feeling of guilt going on about me.

"Yes. I feel much better. Thank you, Peridot," I said and went over to a corner of the barn and laid down. It wasn't a total lie. I did feel a little bit better. I just couldn't shake the feeling of guilt I had in my gut.

Night soon came, and Peridot eventually laid down and fell asleep. She had grown accustomed to the human ritual of sleeping.

I saw this as my chance to do what I had to do. I searched endlessly in all the junk that was lying around the barn until I found what I was looking for: a piece of paper and a pen.

I wrote out a note for Peridot to let her know I was leaving. I placed it somewhere where I was sure she would see it: on top of the paint cans.

I took one last look at Peridot before I took off. Aside from Steven, Peridot was the only one I considered a true friend.

I gazed up at the night sky. I spread out my water wings and with a heavy heart, I left.


	3. Where Do I Belong?

(Peridot P.O.V.)

I slowly opened my eyes. I groaned a little when bright sunlight hit my vision spheres. I slowly stood up and stretched.

My sense sponge took in the smells of the early-morning country. I popped my touch stumps and rubbed my gravity connectors. I rubbed the tired feeling out of my vision spheres.

"I'm telling you, Lazuli," I said. "I keep getting more and more glad Steven told me about the ritual of sleeping."

I looked around and noticed that Lazuli wasn't anywhere in the barn. I had no idea where she had gone, so I blindly searched all around our area.

I couldn't find Lazuli anywhere. I checked all over the barn, the smaller-than-average lake, all the ground acres that were part of our living arrangement, and even the silo. Do you have any idea how hard it was to get to the top of that thing?

After searching for over an hour, I decided that she had likely gone to visit Steven, taken a random flight, or was assisting the Crystal a Gems with a mission. With that in mind, I just went back into the barn and decided just to wait for her to get back.

I walked over to the paint cans and saw a note lying on top of them. It looked like it was from Lazuli. It read:

" _Dear Peridot,_

 _If you are reading this, then I'm already gone. I should have known that I couldn't stay here forever. I just don't belong here._

 _Don't for a second think that I left because of you. I left because of me. I have no honor, and I never will._

 _Peridot, you were a really amazing friend. You tried so hard to show me how you had changed. I'll never forget you._

 _Please tell Steven that I'm sorry. I did things that a friend shouldn't do. I still don't think he's ready to hear the true tale yet. Maybe one day he will, but as for now, he can't know._

 _I don't deserve friends like you and Steven. I don't deserve any friends at all. I'm a low-down gem that should be locked away and always be alone._

 _Like I said, 'I don't belong here'. I don't belong anywhere. I used to think that everyone had just used me and no matter where I went, I would be trapped. Now, I realize something. I have always been trapping myself. I refuse to allow help and then I complain. I put myself in danger. I allowed myself to be caught. I let gems use me instead of standing up for myself and stopping it._

 _I'll miss you guys. But I know you'll be better off without me. I never brought you guys anything. Whenever you needed my help, I barely tried. I was closed off and cruel. I thought I could call myself a Crystal Gem, but I can't. I'm not a hero._

 _I don't know where I'm supposed to go now. I don't truly belong to either side. I have done too much to go back to Homeworld, and I have not done anything that could call me a Crystal Gem._

 _Please tell Steven that he'll always be my beach summer fun buddy. And Peridot, you'll always be my barn mate._

 _Good bye._

 _~Lapis Lazuli_

 _P.S. I know you have a crush. Go for it. Don't hold back, or you'll just miss the opportunity. You really need better security on that new diary of yours. Haha!_ "

I could barely move. Lapis had just left. She was gone, and she wasn't sure if she would ever even be coming back.

My vision spheres suddenly felt weird. It felt as if a liquid was forming in them.

I had to go clear my mind. I walked over to the warp pad holding my most precious possessions: Lazuli's letter, Amethyst's lucky pen, the rare silks Pearl gave me, the picture Garnet gave me of all six of us together after the incident with the Rubies, Steven's old stuffed bear, and the new diary Steven gave me.

I stepped on the pad and let the warp stream take me where it would. I appeared on a strange island with giant water falls, palm trees, and a large crack in the shore.

I sat down on a rock by a tree facing away from the shore.

(Jasper P.O.V.)

After hours of climbing up trenches and swimming for my life, I finally emerged out of the horrid sea and crawled across a sandy shore.

I stopped for moment. I felt pain rush through my physical form once more. Having a cracked gem was the last thing I needed.

I dragged myself using my arms over to a tree. I rested against the trunk and looked out on the shore.

What have I gotten myself into?

(Lapis P.O.V.)

I was flying around when I spotted something. I saw Mask Island. I remembered what happened there a couple weeks back.

I felt like it was perfect place for me to stay and reflect on my life. I slowed down the amount of flaps in my wings and softly landed on top of a palm tree.

I didn't know how to explain it, but it felt as if Jasper and Peridot were close. It felt as if they were right underneath me.

 **Hey guys!**

 **I hope you are enjoying the story so far. I will try and update as soon as I can. And yes, all three of them are at the same tree.**

 **Pic you guys want to see anything happen or have any ideas I could possibly use in this story, I'd appreciate it.**

 **If you are enjoying the story at all, please leave a review.**

 **Thanks! :)**

 **~Stevidot4ever**


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